If you’re
lucky, when you’re a kid, you have a favorite relative. I had a few of them,
one of whom was Claire, the daughter of my father’s cousin.
Claire was
fifteen years older than me. Her father, an angry, bitter sourpuss, didn’t
approve of her “lifestyle.” (It turns out he didn’t approve of anything.) Her
mother stayed in the kitchen and cooked things. To compensate for and try to
overcome an unpleasant home life, she laughed a lot. You’re either born with
it, though some people develop it – whichever – Claire had it; a sense of humor.
She always felt comfortable when she came to visit, and because she was
comfortable, she was able, and allowed herself, to be funny and have fun.
(Gratitude – a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors
or benefits received; thankfulness.)
She didn’t
talk about herself much, but what Claire often would do was tell my brother and
me to express our gratitude to our parents for what they do for us and to be
grateful for what we have - and to find and choose as many things as we can
each day for which to be grateful. (Decades later, when I wasn’t feeling very
good about myself, my daughter and my son, and my therapist, told me the same
thing.)
At some
point, I don’t remember when, we lost contact with Claire. It is with a bow to
her and the laughter and joy she so cherished that I submit a list of just a
few of the things for which we can, and should, all be grateful. Let’s be
grateful that:
There are
still singers who sing.
Presidential elections are held only once
every four years.
The names
Etwinda, Mortimer and Cleopatra are no longer popular.
There is a
mute button on the TV remote.
March
Madness is only in March.
It feels so
good to hug someone.
Horses
don’t put their hair in a ponytail.
No one who
is covered from head to toe with tattoos of Portuguese vacation cottages
is dating
your daughter.
Your son’s
trick knee hasn’t been booked in Las
Vegas.
Nobody has
yet come out with Seven-Layer Cake Light.
2+2=4.
Love is
here to stay.
John
Phillip Sousa’s last name was not Cavoldenklaben, because, if it had been,
members
of college marching
bands would still be playing the Cavoldenklabenphone.
It didn’t
really happen in Monterey
a long time ago.
The pinky
finger is shorter than the pointer.
Our Founding
Fathers were smart enough to realize that July 4th should fall on a
holiday
weekend.
Tollbooth
collectors don’t wear bathing suits.
There are
people who believe that what you believe in should be kept to yourself.
The next
door neighbors sold their kangaroo.
Kissing
beats fighting.
Four and
twenty blackbirds were not baked in an egg roll.
The
All-Weather station and the How-To-Tie-A-Knot station have not combined to form
The Weather-Or-Knot station.
Peaches
are round.
Waffles
don’t get angry.
Professional
sports teams have made a pact not to scout potential players at youth games
until a
child turns four-years old.
Cartoon
animals are so darn cute.
People can
still get on the dance floor and dance slowly, with their arms around each
other.
Patience is a virtue. Tofu is not.
Mary had a little lamb and not a pterodactyl.
The sweetest sound in the world is
that of a baby laughing.
Despite the overwhelming use of
computers, pens and pencils are staging a comeback.
The sagging/baggy-pants look has
not caught on as the official dress code at the
United Nations.
Cranberry sauce has not learned to
talk, otherwise we would hear, “You only come
around in late November. It gets
kind of lonely around here How about saying hello the
rest of the year. What are we, chopped
liver?”
Most comedians/comediennes are very
bright and funny people. (The others who just
curse and talk about body parts are
not very bright or funny.)
Plaid French fries never became
popular.
Writers are never totally lonely as
long as there are words around.
Household pets don’t mind being
told not to answer the phone.
Jazz musicians have no intention of
going away.
Books with pictures of vegetables
have not been found to be subversive.
The couple sitting behind you at
the movies, eating four tubs of popcorn and constantly
talking, isn’t staying in the guest
bedroom.
Turkeys don’t get together and get
really ticked off.
When you laugh, and love, all that
other stuff goes away.
The next sweetest sound is that of
butterfly applause.
The greatest sound is that of an
audience laughing.
Thank you, Claire – and take care of yourself. I’m going
outside to hug ten strangers. Wish me luck.
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